A Retreat from Retail
I wanted to refit my lifestyle habits any way I could after switching jobs and revamping my personal life intention. By chance I decided to listen to the Joe Rogan podcast episode with Zach Leary when he mentioned the documentary Minimalism.
Piquing my interest with a factoid on the rise of consumerism since the mid-90’s and a study of heat maps in large homes, I saved a little note to watch it onto my phone. When I got home from the gym, I told Josh I knew exactly what we were going to watch that weekend.
It was the perfect nudge I needed.
The new year was coming up and after watching the documentary I’d decided to make a goal not to buy any clothing for the rest of the year. With all the sales that follow Christmas and the new year, it wasn’t that easy.
I would see something I’d want to have and at first it was hard because when I used to refrain from buying things it was because I didn’t have the dough. Having paid off all my student housing loans ($19k within 8 months of graduating college. Not-so-humble-humble-brag but hey I’m really proud of it), I felt the drive to reward myself by purchasing the dang things I wanted!
But the pact to myself was still in force so I let the feeling of intense desire slowly fall away. I would come back to the website only to feel the desire lessen and lessen until almost a week later it didn’t even matter to me. That yearning to own something new had faded. Then one of my favorite designers posted their spring collection and it came back. *Gasp* Big surprise there, huh? “I am sooo vain,” I thought. And then I noticed how it mirrored exactly what happened when a thought would come to the forefront during my 15 minute mindfulness meditation.
Buying stuff makes us happy.
Temporarily.
When we are able to see how that desire so easily comes and just as easily goes, when we don’t tend to it, it feels good.
You feel free.
I didn’t buy anything from fast-fashion for the first half of this year…
I did end up caving from the original pact in February when my girl Laura, thrift-master-extraordinaire, took me thrift shopping in Pensacola for the first time —not counting Buffalo Exchange and Wasteland in Santa Monica as thrift stores. Their prices are still pricey for second hand goods and shopping with her made that glaringly clear. And while my mom was here in July I caved and bought a pair of sunglasses from Urban Outfitters.
…and here are a few things I’ve learned:
How habits can change
Taking more time to think things through to avoid regret and observing your visceral, emotional, and mental patterns
How many times have you bought something because you accomplished something and were ‘treating yourself’? Probably quite a few. Now, how many times have you bought something because you were sad, angry, disappointed, or even just straight up bored? Did buying those things make you feel better? Or did it just temporarily mask the problem (and fade away 5 hours later)? Like so many other numbing agents (food, alcohol, even exercise) shopping robs you of the opportunity to fix problems that usually only get worse over time. It’s okay to feel your feelings, good and bad! Personally, I think it’s the best thing you can do for yourself.
Not only does buying something not address the root of your feelings, it leaves you with regret for having spent money you probably could have used for something more useful (healthy food, money to pay off credit card bills, or saving for a trip you’ve been dying to take)!
When my mom came to help me settle in, we went to a few stores with my aunts. Thinking I’d learned quite a bit from this experiment, I decided I’d join in on the fun and end my retreat from retail. But when my mom was urging me to buy more tableware (she wasn’t pleased with the two plates and 3 bowls I had from Target) it was so much harder for me to give into every impulse to buy everything at West Elm. By eliminating the habit of buying to soothe some emotional or mental despair I was able to be more pensive with my purchases. “Do I really like it/need it or am I buying this to make myself feel better (stressful situations at work, etc.)?
You are so much more than what you look like
I have finally come to a point in my life where I don’t need to wear brand name clothing to be happy with what I have. Hell, I don’t think I’ve ever felt happier knowing that I don’t have to have brand name clothes in my closet to make me feel complete.
And that is an embarrassingly big deal for me because in college, especially, I went out of my way to make sure the clothes I bought were brand name. Any time I would go to the bars with my friends, I could pinpoint what brand, what season, and sometimes even the name of the actual piece of clothing someone was wearing. Just think about how much cognitive energy that must have taken. Thinking about how much time I must have spent browsing through online clothing websites makes me cringe.
But even beyond wearing brand names, donning any type of clothing shouldn’t make you feel any more complete than when you feel like you are the truest expression of yourself, let’s say in pajamas, at your best friend’s house, binge watching your favorite TV show while eating hot Cheetos.
You really appreciate style
Kind of like having your own writing style, you have your own personal voice when it comes to what you wear. it’s a different form of self-expression that takes on the culture of time periods you love (for me thats the 70s and 90s).
I know this is going to sound so disgustingly pretentious of me that you’re probably going to lose your balance from rolling your eyes so hard, so brace yourself. It was like when my mom used to take me shopping in the Philippines on the weekends. *did you see the frontal lobe of your brain?* Granted all the clothes there were made dirt cheap and probably were no better than the sweatshops Forever21 and Zara use but it made my feel like my style was really original and one of a kind (this was of course before online shopping boomed).
Creativity Flourishes
How many outfit combinations have you put together in your entire life? How many of those outfit combinations were carbon copies of ads you saw on a commercial, billboard, social media post? Yes, we can’t reinvent the wheel and inspiration does come from these advertisements but I think taking a step back from the barrage of “new styles and trends” (in quotations because again, we can’t reinvent the wheel) every week allows your personal style and self-expression to thrive.
What is it all good for?
Making room for more activities you’ve always wanted to try
Instead of spending money on clothes (when I already have more than enough things to mix and match in my closet), I’ve spent my money accumulating things that put me on a path towards achieving some life goals I’ve set for myself including: philodendrons, succulents, perennials, and other tropical plants at nursery’s to help me learn how to take care of plants for a garden I eventually want to design. I was able to spend my money on backpacking equipment (for those of you that have perused REI or Patagonia products, you know it is not a cheap hobby) and finally go on a backpacking trip.
Making room in your home for things you TRULY love
By letting the compulsion to buy clothes I didn’t need slip through my fingers, I also found it easier to let go of clothes in my closet that I stopped wearing years ago. Aparigraha (non-possessiveness) was so much easier to observe. It touched everything in my life. I made sure not to hoard (thus waste) food. I got rid of trinkets I never used. By letting go of all these things I finally had the clean space for my yoga mat to lay and for my plants to bloom.
My kitchen space became less cluttered and more organized. I was also more financially able to purchase supplements to support my hyper-active wellness appetite and meat and eggs from local farms, which as I’ve discussed in previous posts, cost a pretty penny.
Saving money for the things you NEED
69% of Americans have less than $1000 in their savings account. The first time I heard that statistic I was dumbfounded, especially after hearing the consumer facts in the documentary mentioned above. This time last year, I set a goal for myself to have a certain amount of money in my savings account by September of this year. I will achieve that by the 15th of this month. Taking these six months to not purchase anything other than what I needed to live day to day helped me achieve that without a doubt. When I moved from Florida to Virginia I was able to cover random (unfortunately expensive and necessary) purchases without having to worry if I had enough money to pay rent, credit card bills, for food, etc.
You become even happier with what you have and content in the present moment
I realized I used stylized fabrics and all the apartment nesting trinkets I want to decorate my living room with as a crutch. Instead of paying attention to my present state of mind, I pacified my emotions with consumerism to avoid feeling unpleasant and uncomfortable.
By getting rid of the habit of buying stuff to soothe some emotional or mental despair, I was able to save money for things I wanted to incorporate into my lifestyle that put me on track to the life I want to be living.
To wrap this up with some giggles, this is one of my favorite skits from George Carlin on this topic. I wonder what kind of things you can make room for in your life by accumulating less stuff?
xx,
Roselle
(from the Heal Deliberately Wellness Blog archives - August 11, 2017)